Say NO to Bullying

Susanne Gervay's I AM JACK is a significant resource for parents, students and teachers.
School bullying can have a devastating effect on a child and the school community.
It can happen to anyone.
Through story journey, I AM JACK emotionally engages the bullied, bully, other children,
teachers, parents exploring important ways to create a safer place.

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One in six children is bullied in schools.

Bullying is so insidious. It starts with nothing. A joke that gets out of control. A casual comment that escalates into a war. A child who comes back to school after being sick and is barred. Jealousy, insecurity, fun, fear. There are all sorts of reasons that begin the process of bullying. My son Jack, was bullied. Jack is an average kid. He makes jokes, argues with his sister, kicks a ball, tries to get out of homework, loves to take photographs. The bullying started with a joke. That's all. A joke. Then it got out of control.

The common factor in bullying is isolating a child, then a group targeting that child. Teasing, physical aggression, humiliation, rejection from social play, scape-goating, loss of friends, are all part of bullying. That is what happened to my son. Every day, was a day of survival for Jack. He devised plans and strategies. He read magazines about karate. Maybe that would help. He ignored the bullies. Maybe that would help. He laughed when they attacked him. Maybe that would help. In the end, Jack just had to make it through the day.

The most dangerous times were when there was no teacher or parent around – before school, recess, lunchtime, after school. Jack discovered safe places like the library and hiding behind the toilets. He'd try to arrive late to school and to class. He knew that the most his teacher would do was shout at him, but he wouldn't kill Jack. He wasn't sure of that on the playground. School became a prison for Jack.

Don't be Bullied!The only real power my Jack had, was to tell. To speak to me or a teacher. However it's hard to tell. In Jack's mind, telling could make the bullying worse. If the bullies found out, maybe they'd really kill him. He felt that he had to handle it himself. But how could he? A child being bullied is a victim, which means he has no power. Jack's a great boy and he didn't want to put more pressure on me. I work and raise a family. Jack didn't realise that he is more important than work. Always.

There were a few times that Jack tried to tell me. The problem is that children often don't know when to tell. Sometimes adults can't hear them. Try and get my attention when I'm on the phone. I'm likely to say 'go away.' Try and tell a teacher when she's in the middle of class activities. She's likely to say 'later'. Children have to learn when to speak. For me it's in the evening, when I'm sitting on the lounge with a cup of coffee. Jack asked at the wrong time. When I said, 'later', Jack thought I didn't care. That I didn't love him. My Jack felt alone.

When I discovered that Jack was being bullied, I fulfilled my Jack's worst nightmare. Yes, I went up to the school. Yes, he was scared. Yes, the school acted. Yes the bully was called up.

It took six months for things to really change. Eventually my Jack worked through the bullying with the support of family, friends, the school. By the end he felt good about himself, had great friends, loved his school, did his school work, played soccer and learnt that society can be a fair place.

Schools take bullying seriously and programmes have been put in place in most schools. However school bullying still occurs. Bullying is about power, when one group or person dominates another taking away that victims' belief in themselves. Conflict happens in daily life. In the main it is minor and part of living with teasing and a few knocks, arguments, incidents. Usually it rebalances with group support or the children working it out, negotiations and interplay between children. Bullying is when it doesn't rebalance and it's frightening.

As an educational specialist, author and most importantly as Jack's mother, I wrote 'I AM JACK'. Story journey is a powerful way of developing understanding and strategies stopping bullying. JACK does that.

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Endorsed by Room to Read, The Alannah & Madeline Foundation and Life Education Australia & many anti-school bullying programs.

Stan Davis anti-school bullying advocate, author of Schools Where Everyone Belongs and Empowering Bystanders in Bullying prevention says:-

'I Am Jack is a rare treasure. This endearing and realistic book presents the authentic voice of a young person who is bullied; bystanders, friends, and family members who help him; and educators who protect and support him. Every person in this story has a positive role in stopping bullying behaviour. I recommend this book highly.'

Bullying Resources